You are fired. Worst. Day. Ever.

Go to the back of the line. I’m replacing you with the 26th.

No love,

me.

Over the past few months, many of you have asked if there’s anything you could do to help me with all my health concerns and issues. Mostly I said no, there’s nothing anyone can do.

Well, finally there is! I need a volunteer to help me with a WordPress project. I estimate it’ll take 2-5 hours, probably closer to the lower end (depending on how well you know WordPress).

The catch is that 1-2 of those hours probably need to be today or tomorrow. Helping me with this will directly and positively affect my health. 🙂

Anyone? I can explain more about the project in email. web AT vylar kaftan DOT net. Thanks!

Bubbles and minefields do not play well together.

In fact, I think you could craft a variation on the Chicken, Fox, and Grain puzzle with these two things, plus a kitten.

You have a bubble, a kitten, and a minefield. You need to transport all three of them across the river…

Wait, that doesn’t work, because you can’t trust ANY of these things alone together. Maybe add a bag of kibble for the minefield to play with.

I want apology-lights for cars — wired directly into a driver’s brain. The lights would only flash when you wanted to make a sincere apology, like “Sorry I cut you off,” and “Oh crap, I know I just pulled a crazy driving stunt and I’m sorry for all you people who were nearby.”

That way, you’d know when someone was having a bad driving day, and when they were just an asshole.

The first clue in my crossword puzzle today was REJECTED. I thought you guys should know.

9 letters. I wrote YOUPEOPLE.

Last night, while playing Arkham Horror, I had a thought.

Surely, somewhere in this wild world, there are Cthulhu furries.

A quick Google search has turned up nothing, but perhaps in some quiet little town…

I just realized some of my older friends (college friends, etc) haven’t seen me in years–and have never seen Shannon. So here’s a picture of us, taken last year. Yes, we have matching hats, which we get teased about a lot.

Since I never bother to change my LJ icon, I would like to use my professional picture. It’s located here:

http://www.vylarkaftan.net/about-me/

It’s also located as a file on my computer. Every time I try to upload it (either cropping it square, or not) it comes out fuzzy.

Anyone know why? Can anyone help me do it right, either by telling me how or (if you have good tools) just helping me do it?

ETA: Thanks, Peer! How does this look? It’s much better than my attempts.

In honor of Post a Rejection Letter Friday, I hereby offer you…

Rejections!

That’s right, folks. Just post a comment, and I will happily write you a rejection letter. It will be personalized. It will be random. And it will completely and utterly reject you.

And you can quote any of my rejection letters anywhere you want. Scout’s honor!

Who’s first?

ETA: Man, you guys are gluttons for punishment.

I have 15 heads of garlic. What should I do with them?