Updates

 

 

What is Updates, the Kickstarter Like No Other?

Many Kickstarters take your money and go silent. They all promise to build amazing things if you’ll just give them money. But once you pledge, they vanish without any updates.

We promise we will never do that. We’ll keep you updated at every stage. In fact, that’s all we’ll do! We won’t waste time with design, prototype, logistics, assembly, packaging, or shipping. We’ll just tell you stuff every week. Lots of stuff! Never again will you wonder, “What did that Kickstarter do with my money? Why haven’t I heard from them in months?” We’ll take good care of you.

 

Reward Tiers

$5: RECEIPT BACKER. We’ll confirm your purchase. Yep. There you go. In addition to that lovely receipt (which technically counts as an update), you’ll see free updates online just like everyone else.

$10: DOUBLE CHECK BACKER. All rewards of RECEIPT BACKER tier–then a long span of silence, followed by a frantic incomplete update intended for someone else.

$50: SINCERE BACKER. All rewards of DOUBLE CHECK BACKER, plus we’ll apologize in the extremely unlikely event that we do not update you. We will be sorry. We will be so sorry. You will feel our sorrow after the regrettable delays (due to factors beyond our control or anticipation). Our sorrow will be deep and compelling.

$100: APOLOGETIC BACKER. All rewards of SINCERE BACKER tier, with a bonus excuse. It will be good. It will be laminated. Possibly notarized by one or more of our parents, if we hit our stretch goals.

$500: INFORMED BACKER. We’ll update you on the progress and status of other interesting Kickstarters. We won’t actually know anything, but whatever. We’ll happily update you, our valued backer.

$1,000: PRYING BACKER. We will email you every day about how things are going. We won’t have anything to say, but we will update you. Daily. With words. Some will show off our grasp of language and fondness for wordplay, others will be morose meditations on the frailty of life.

$5,000: LOOK AT ME BACKER. We’ll call you via video chat system and provide you with updates on our lives, at all times. At all times. Calls will be made whenever we want, but we know you’re a supportive backer. You’ll adjust.

Comments

Andrew Crawford on Feb 2, 2014

Wow, this is great! I always know what’s going on with you guys. You’re so much more responsive than those Kickstarters that actually do things. Thanks!

 

Apology Stretch Goals

If we reach $20,000, we will offer apologies handwritten on linen paper, delivered to any world address. We will apologize for every update we should have made, but didn’t. Lamination is optional.

If we reach $40,000, our parents will love and support us and scribble postscripts on any updates we send to you. They have glitter pens.

We will update you on whether we make the apology stretch goals. Free!

FAQs/Risks

Q: What am I buying?

A: Nothing! But we’ll keep you completely updated on where things stand. Often.

Q: How do I know that you’ll actually give me the updates you’re promising?

A: Our famous friends will vouch that we’re doing this, with no evidence that we actually have.

Q: Do I have to pay sales tax on this?

A: No, the good news is you’re not actually obtaining anything! It’s just information, and information is duty-free.

Q: Will you update me internationally?

A: Yes, si, oui, etc!

Q: Is there any possibility that you won’t update me according to schedule?

A: Sadly, yes. Updating is a risky and expensive proposition and sometimes accidents happen. But we have every confidence that with enough public support, we can complete this project to everyone’s satisfaction. If not, we’ll apologize in a manner appropriate to your support tier.

Q: Isn’t this a lot like your project from two years ago, Give Us All Your Money?

A: No, of course not! That project was a bust in that some of you didn’t give us your money. We’re hoping you’ve learned your lesson and will pledge accordingly this time.

Updates: Update #1

Wow, we’ve never seen a 12 minute backing surge like this before! It’s amazing how word is spreading. Many of you are as excited to be updated as we are to update you. So consider this a taste of what’s to come! Right now, we’re sitting here, flipping between our email and this site and giggling excitedly at how well things are going.

Don’t forget to tweet about us to all your followers. It’s more fun when you update with a friend!

Updates: Update #2

Holy cow, can you believe it? It was just EIGHTEEN FREAKING MINUTES ago that this Kickstarter went live–and we’re already receiving messages from excited people, asking many questions. We’re sure that we’ve whetted your appetite for updates–and really, explanations. It’s been a delightful eighteen minutes and we’re just getting started.

With this in mind, we’ve posted some FAQs and responses, so check those out for explanations of some of the trickier bits of this project. We’re talking about adding another stretch goal.

What do you think? Is there some way we could keep you more aware of what we’re doing? SMS? Twitter? Snapchat? Send us a message using the button over to the right and if you increase your pledge $5, we’ll answer you right away!

Updates: Update #3

Look, an update! Doesn’t that feel great? Pledge now!

 
Comments

John Murphy on Aug 30, 2014

Hey, why have you guys gone silent for six months? Where are my updates?

THE END