I received my copy of Paper Cities today.

Enclosed in the package was a copy of Action Bucks Video Series. It’s a videogame. I now have “Dream Whitetails,” “Big Buck Fever,” and “Whitetail Adrenaline” with which to educate myself.

I was hoping for porn, but nope. Deer-hunting.

Boring explanation: Sometimes the post office opens Media Mail to inspect it and make sure people aren’t abusing it. They must have combined my package with someone else’s. At least I got my copy of Paper Cities. It’s too bad I have no way to return this video or figure out who it might belong to.

Much more interesting explanation: Matt Kressel, publisher of Paper Cities, is trying to tell me something. “Go back into the wild, young writer! Be free, and shoot all the animals you see!” After practicing for a while on my computer, I will head into the wilds of Canada, armed only with a bottle of water and a rocket-propelled grenade. I will destroy every living creature I see and possibly set the woods on fire. After the carnage, I will enjoy some tea and cookies. Who’s with me?