Today they found a dead guy in the carport under my apartment complex.

No idea what happened yet. Apartment manager is still sorting it out. But there were a lot of cops. And yellow caution tape everywhere.

More housecleaning. I have a black velvet cloak with royal purple silk lining. I’ve loved this cloak for many years, but I’m ready to let it go.

One size fits most. It’s ankle-length on me and I’m 5’5″. Machine-washable, with a hood. You can fold the hood back a bit to show the purple silk if you like. It’s in good condition (a few small marks, but no holes or major issues).

The only requirement is that you either pick it up from me, or pay for shipping. Shipping is probably about $12 or so.

I’d prefer it go to someone who will love it, which is why I’m not auctioning or freecycling it.

Let me know if you’re interested.

My husband’s going on a business trip, so I’ll be at World Fantasy by myself.

So I have his membership for sale, and I need a roommate. The membership is $125 (what we paid for it).

I have a room reserved in the Fairmont; I’m looking for a quiet non-smoker to split the cost. I’m also a quiet non-smoker. Female or male (if we have a mutual friend who can vouch for you) is fine with me. I’d love someone who can come in quietly at night, preferably without turning on lights if possible. I’m a very light sleeper and I go to bed early.

Let me know if you’re interested. It’d be easiest if the same person wants both the membership and the hotel space. But if you only want one or the other, let me know and maybe I can work that out.

ETA: I can bring a nightlight. Or if the light’s only on for a minute, that’s okay too.

ETA again: It’s taken. Sorry–there’s so many people who want a membership.

Anyone ever have a 15-minute task that you put off for months? Well, maybe it’s more like an hour-long task. But still.

So I’m doing it today. Because this is ridiculous. It’s become so Important and Special that I “never feel like doing it.”

Step 1: Look through my email and find the instructions…

Marshall Payne interviews me in the Super-Sekrit Clubhouse about my writing habits, life in California, and fecal matter.  An excerpt:

***

Oh, there’s probably a lot of fantastic poop stories locked away by shy spinsters living alone in garrets.  They just couldn’t find publishers.

“Break the Vessel” came from some historical research I did for another project. Louis XIV, the Sun King, is possibly the closest thing European history has to a god-king.  The royal hands were too important to touch the royal butt, so a courtier took care of the dirty work.  Since the courtier would get a few minutes daily alone with the king, he could influence the king’s decisions in private.  So this job was highly coveted.

Combined with my general contempt of authority, the story pretty much wrote itself.

Reactions have been almost entirely positive, aside from some people who are really grossed out by bodily functions.

***

By way of anghara, and I like this one.

Here’s what you need to do:

Give me the title of a story I’ve never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got submitted to magazines, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I’d been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

This little game may generate some stories, or not–hard to say.  But it does sound fun.  I enjoying making things up.  I figure some of you folks do too.

So.  What unwritten fiction of mine have you enjoyed, and why?

From badgerbag.  As seen on No, Not You.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1.   Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2.   When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3.   If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault  them!

4.   NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5.   If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6.   Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7.   USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8.   Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9.   Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.

Cheese or font? You make the call.

Who’s good at writing personal essays? I don’t write this form very often. I’d love some feedback on a 1000-word personal essay. Let me know if you’re willing to look.

I wonder.  If Elizabeth Bennet had, in order to secure her family’s future, reluctantly accepted Darcy’s first proposal, what would their marriage have been like?

Would they have developed respect for each other?  Would she have changed her mind about him? Would they have developed mutual love over time?

Or would her resentment of the situation have tainted the whole relationship?  Would Darcy’s efforts to salvage Lydia’s elopement have meant anything to her if she’d assumed it was to save his own reputation (given that he was going to marry her anyhow)?