Things are pretty good for me right now. But terrible things are happening to lots of my friends. It’s depressing.

So, my friends, tell me–what’s going right in your life? What’s making you happy? What’s really wonderful for you?

Help me restore my sense of balance in the world.

My friend Sarah has a dog named Bruno. We sometimes walk with Bruno along the nearby trail to the dog park. Every time we get to the park, Bruno is thrilled to see all the other dogs, sniff their butts, romp in the grass, and so on. Seriously, he’s the picture of total delight.

I love Bruno, but I’m more of a cat person. So I think we need a kitty park. It’d be a wonderful place filled with carpeted towers, scratching posts, and catnip mice… that all the cats could be totally unimpressed with as they curl up for their naps. There’d be a complex system of snubbing each other, incomprehensible to humans. The more money we spend on building this park, the less the cats will care.

Or even better: a fishie park. Bring your aquarium friends and dump them in the pond. Later you can scoop out the survivors and take them home.

Do I have any trained linguists reading this blog? A college degree in linguistics (or equivalent) is probably the right level. I’ve got some knowledge of the field, but I have a few questions.

Please drop me a note. Thanks.

You know how when you walk into an unfamiliar grocery store, and you’re looking for something particular (the bathrooms or the deli for example), and you have to pick a direction to wander? You know what you’re looking for is probably in one of the corners, but it’s hard to say if it’s left or right, or front or back.

That always reminds me of playing Gauntlet and looking for the exit.

I try to stay within the framework of whatever language sounds I’m using, but I have my favorites.

Consonant sounds I like in my invented words: k, l, z, h, sh, r, v, s, t, n, y, zh.

Consonant sounds I don’t use as often: p, j, cr, d, w, d, f, b, g, sk, tch, gr, pl.

I’m pretty equal-opportunity about vowels. I like using the oft-neglected O and U. By the way, ever notice how many fantasy women’s names end with A?

I’ve found out what the octopus plans to do with Mr Potato Head!

From the news:

The octopus who loves his Mr Potato Head

Louis the octopus clearly thinks two heads are better than one when it comes
to toys.

The 1.8m-wide (6ft) creature is so attached to Mr Potato Head that he turns
aggressive when aquarium staff try to remove it from his tank.

The giant Pacific octopus was given the toy for Christmas and has even
learned to dig out food hidden in a secret box at the back of it.

‘He’s fascinated by it,’ said Matt Slater, of the Blue Reef Aquarium in
Newquay, Cornwall. ‘He attacks the net we use to fish the toy out every time
we try to take it away.’

Mr Slater added: ‘Octopuses are very intelligent and they like to be
stimulated and busy.’

The picture is great.

My God, that Mr Potato Head’s life is a living hell. I can see it now…

Day 386: Still in clutches of tentacled beast. It rummages through my backside daily looking for food. I fear it will never let me go. Curse this plastic body which cannot decompose fast enough!

My dad used to read to me almost every night. We worked our way through lots of classics, including the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, Winnie-the-Pooh, Little Women, Lord of the Rings, and Treasure Island.

I was a high energy kid, and sometimes I couldn’t sit still for the reading, so I jumped around the room and bounced on the bed. Dad would ask if I was listening, and I said yes (it was true), and he’d go on. Sometimes I’d curl up next to him and read the page myself as he read aloud. Somehow I couldn’t listen unless I was also doing something else, a trait which continues today. But I was definitely listening, and have fond memories of these books (except Treasure Island, which bored me).

Dad liked to do voices, and he read with great enthusiasm. But it was because he had a listener. When he retired, he tried recording books for the blind, and he said it just wasn’t the same.

1) Did your parents read to you when you were a kid? What did they read?
2) If you’re a parent today, do you read to your kids? What do you read?

I went into my Messages to manage things. I unchecked “tell me about virtual gifts” and a few other things. Somehow, I no longer am getting messages when people leave comments on my posts–but that option is still checked, and always has been. I unchecked/rechecked just in case, and no luck.

Anyone know how to fix this?